Meet The Plastics
[CADY, spoken:]
Woah. Who is at that table over there?
[DAMIAN, spoken:]
Don’t look at them, just don’t!
[DAMIAN, sung:]
We call those three “The Plastics”
They’re shiny, fake, and hard
[JANIS:]
They play their little mind games
All around the schoolyard
[DAMIAN:]
They might insult your clothing
Or make fun of your name
[JANIS:]
Like they mocked Jen Morecock
‘Til she burst into flame
[DAMIAN, spoken:]
And Ms. Morecock was a teacher
[JANIS, spoken:]
Regina George is the queen bee
She’s always dressed up
She always wins Spring Fling Queen
We’re just drones that work for her, then die
[REGINA, sung:]
My name is Regina George
And I am a massive deal
Fear me, love me
Stand and stare at me
And these, these are real
I’ve got money and looks
I am, like, drunk with power
This whole school
Humps my leg like a chihuahua
I’m the prettiest poison you’ve ever seen
I never weigh more than one-fifteen
My name is Regina George
And I am a massive deal
I don’t care who you are
I don’t care how you feel
[JANIS, spoken:]
That’s Gretchen Wieners, she knows everything about everybody
[DAMIAN, spoken:]
That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets!
[GRETCHEN, sung:]
Yes, Regina
No, Regina
Every waking hour
I spend making sure Regina
George can stay in power
If Regina is the sun
Then I’m a disco ball
‘Cause I’m just as bright and fun
If you’ve had alcohol
I worm your secrets out of you
And bring them to my master
Then I watch Regina make your life a big disaster
[DAMIAN, JANIS:]
Disaster!
[GRETCHEN:]
Regina is the queen
But I’m the head of worker bees
I am seated at her right hand
[DAMIAN, GRETCHEN:]
Like a Jewish Princess Jesus
[JANIS, spoken:]
That is Karen Smith
The dumbest person you will ever meet
[DAMIAN, spoken:]
I once saw her put a “D” in the word “Orange”
[KAREN, sung:]
My name is Karen
My hair is shiny
My teeth are perfect
My skirt is tiny
It barely covers
My perky hiney
My name is Karen
I may not be smart…
That’s it
[REGINA:]
Right
We never really do this
But how would you like to
Have lunch with us this week
[CADY, spoken:]
Oh, it’s okay, I…
[REGINA, sung:]
No, no need for you to thank us
There’s no need to even speak
[GRETCHEN:]
You’re new and you don’t know things
You need good friends who can tell you what to think
See you here same time tomorrow
[KAREN:]
On Wednesdays we wear pink
[REGINA, GRETCHEN, KAREN:]
On Wednesdays we wear pink!
[All overlap:]
[REGINA:]
Here’s where you belong
Here’s where you belong
Here’s where you belong
Here’s where you belong
[GRETCHEN:]
Yes, Regina
No, Regina
Every waking hour
I spend making sure Regina
George can stay in power
If Regina is the sun
Then I’m a disco ball
‘Cause I’m just as bright and fun
If you’ve had alcohol
[KAREN:]
My name is Karen
My hair is shiny
My teeth are perfect
My skirt is tiny
[REGINA, GRETCHEN, KAREN:]
Wear something nice and grab a tray
‘Cause we don’t do this every day
Say here’s where you belong
Say here’s where you belong
[REGINA, spoken:]
No, really. Say it
[REGINA, GRETCHEN, KAREN, sung:]
Say here’s where you belong!
[Cady, overlapped]
Here’s where I belong!
[GRETCHEN:]
Come sit with us tomorrow
It’ll be fetch!